Some stories I have seem like tall tales, but they are all true stories, actual events that have happened in my life. Even though it looks like something out of The Brothers Grim or Gulliver’s travels, they are really out of Renee Nolte’s World! I have so many happenings, incidents, and epic journeys of my life stories to share, and I can’t wait to let you all in on them!

This story will be about one journey that started on the wrong foot, or, should I say, thigh?…

Air traveling, Chapter 1

I woke up at 4:30 am; I am not a morning person, so you know. I wish I could wake up like Mark Wahlberg and kill it daily, but I also like vacation mode! It’s not that I wake up grumpy like a bear, as in “not a morning person,” but instead, I’m just internally pissed off because I had to wake up and do something early. But when my alarm goes off, I wake up, do it and move on. Internally pissed but externally with a smile until it consumes my inside. That’s my “not a morning person” definition.

Anyway, this morning, I lifted my eyeballs open, got ready, and my lovely daughter drove me to my terminal.

I’ve been in the terminal this morning since 5:27am; it’s currently after 11am. I’ve been on stand-by twice to get home to my husband and the bump and grind of work and daily living. I came to visit my daughter, her husband, and 2 of my grandchildren for a short trip; gotta see those grands when I can!

I’m currently en route from Indianapolis to Austin to College Station. I was supposed to hit Chicago to change planes since I didn’t have a direct flight, but now they have re-routed me to Dallas just for me to bolt off the jet and barely make it to my next leg only to put me at #17 standby…. anyway, what do ya know, I made it! I like coming into Dallas better anyway; shy town has just gotten so pricey lately. By the time I got home, I could have traveled internationally…I just need to be able to hit the ground running when I do arrive.

On days like this, I almost regret not driving myself, but then I remember I am also not a road trip person (if I have to drive solo). The long, hot roads make me sleepy. I’m not a lazy person, not at all. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not always sleeping. I’m always working and don’t shut down unless I’m sleeping; even then, I’m a super light sleeper and constant thinker, so I need my sleep when I can!

I’d rather sleep on a plane and arrive sooner. Even though I’m surrounded by distractions, I’ve learned to tune out all the passengers when I need to get my zzz’s.

This crazy morning, I literally met 2 thousand Travelers at the security checkpoint and missed my flight due to excessively long lines and slow TSA workers. Or maybe it’s just a slow TSA policy; either way, it took forever.

The scene was surreal; it was like TSA had an antidote for a zombie plague, and we were all waiting to get the shot, get clearance, and go, except TSA were sloth Zombies. Did I mention when I woke up? Come on, I need to sleep on the plane! But compared to some of my other air travels, this was by far a better one. I’ve had more than my fair share of inglorious air travel, and you are about to read about the worst one…

I think the most awkward, wait…that’s not the word. Bizarre, no…that’s not the word either. UNBELIEVABLE, that’s it! The most unbelievable thing happened to me on a flight one time. Yep, it seems like it only happens to me (because it’s so bizarre), and why am I the lucky one? But it’s true; I was blessed with unbelievable experiences, and this one here takes the cake!

I flew to Jacksonville, Florida, on a business trip with my sister Stephanie. This was about 15 years ago. Before, my sister thought about capturing this incident on a mobile device. It may have helped with some future awareness or company training! But just when you think and feel everything is excellent, this will be the start of what is going to be a fantastic day; something of a bump in the road gets in the way of changing your mood!

I was sitting in the first row of a Southwest Airline Airbus, book in hand. I was ready to get cozy, and read for 3 hours, and get to another level of understanding of the GenoType Diet by Peter D’Adamo (I love his work).

My sister just introduced herself to the man sitting in the aisle seat; she was seated in the middle, and me by the cabin door side. I rarely get front-row Joe…and only twice First Class (more chapters will come about in a later blog). It was your typical meet-the-companion brief and seemed like a normal ready-to-go travel day. I was only interested in sitting back, relaxing, reading, and finally, quiet self-time. My sister starts nudging me with her elbow, telling me the seated passenger to her right is single and he’s cute (note: at the time, I was single, and she was looking out for me; thank you, sister.) But I whispered to her from the corner of my right lip, “I’m not interested.” She nudged me again, so I shook his hand, smiled slightly, said hello, politely sank into the corner of my seat, stretched my legs to get cozy, and began reading. The flight attendant was busy hustling and bustling about prepping the cabin for take off when the next thing I knew…

I can’t speak…

I can’t move…

I’m trapped…

I can’t breathe…

I was in SO MUCH PAIN that I was having an out-of-body experience!!

I noticed my sister was engaging in a conversation with the gentleman on her right; they were chatting back and forth while my eyes were filling up with tears, not sad ones, though; they were body shock, pain, tears of torture, and nobody knew…no airline agent anywhere near me, my sister looking the other way, I couldn’t take it, I was about to pass out, my mind fading. I heard my brain scream out loud, but the vocal cords weren’t connecting. I forced my brain to convince my arm muscles to lift my right arm and sling it on my sister. My arm, with all its might, finally, after several attempts to get it to move, plopped onto her lap, and my head crashed on her shoulder. That didn’t do anything to gain her undivided attention; she probably thought I just went to sleep!

I needed to get her attention; I needed HELP! I convinced my brain again to take drastic action since my vocal cords weren’t engaged. I knew my head was rested on her; all I had as leverage were my teeth! Barely able to open my mouth, I bite her shoulder. It was just enough that my strength did allow it, as It probably felt more like a slow-motion trigger massage or a kitten with no teeth numbing on you! She nudged her hand towards me, under her breath, laughing, thinking I was playing and joking around. I was in a level of pain that took over my entire body, and she had no idea! The pain was colossal. A few minutes had already passed by since they closed the cabin door. I knew this because

THEY CLOSED THE CABIN DOOR ON ME!! It was my quadricep, my leg; they had somehow slammed that cabin door shut on my left hamstring!

The tight space in that front row, my leg pressed against the door, the agents not paying attention, me not seeing the possibility of that ever happening….That is how this happened! My body got slammed inside the door. It slid shut, and the door latched; my muscle was on the inner side between the outside of the plane and the inside of the aircraft. I was finally able to wale out loud in pure agony!!! AGUHHHHHHHGGGH! (In a weepy way)

My sister STILL thought I was clowning around. I guess that’s my fault, as I have always been a joker, but I wasn’t fooled around this time. I began to hit her. Survival mode was making itself manifest even though it did again probably feel like a cat paw, a declawed cat paw, but it was all the strength I could muster. She finally looked at all of me and realized part of me was inside an airplane freak’n door! She yelled out at the attendant, “You slammed my sister’s leg in the door!”

Retrieval

By now, I physically felt all the blood flow away from my left leg, pain rushing through my body until a numbness took over part of it. The lady rushes to open the cabin door and says something like “Oh my goodness” under her breath; the door releases my leg, and I collapse over and onto my sister and begin sobbing into her shoulder and back. I couldn’t communicate any other way. I was a crybaby; the pain took over my emotions, and I cried for a good long while. She patted me and tried to comfort me as I felt all the blood flow return to each nook and cranny of my left leg.

The man sitting next to her tried to verbally console me, and I didn’t even know anyone existed but my pain and my sister. I needed some TLC recovery, and I guess Southwest Airlines gives you challenging love care Because the attendant didn’t even offer to make it right. I’m not sure she told anyone; it was like a hit-and-run. She was probably ashamed and embarrassed, but they could have given me some wings, chicken wings, or extra peanuts!

Needless to say, I didn’t find a cozy spot, I couldn’t sleep, I was simply in recovery! It took about the entire duration of the flight to regain normal feeling and release pain from my leg.

I’ve had some bad flights, but this one was the worst!

I have to hand it to martial arts training, though; I know because of it, I was able to heal myself, but that doesn’t make it right, and they probably should have comped my flight, right? But self-healing is a real thing. Plus, I’ll take standby any day over getting a leg or a part of a leg caught in a cabin door!

I hope you enjoyed my story; I bet you’ll remember it on your next flight. Here’s to your next travel adventure: don’t break a leg or get caught by an airbus! Do your best to be aware in all moments, even if you are about to relax. Safe and Happy Travels, my friends!